Meaning: A grifter is a con artist or swindler who tricks people out of money or property through charm, deception and clever lies rather than physical force.
Hi.
I’m going to share a piece that I started writing a week ago and never got to finish…
but because I’m sitting at home today with a hot water bottle on my belly and not doing my usual Sunday shift…I will finally get to complete it.
But then I’m going to give an update on my current reality.
If you only want to read the piece titled “GRIFTER” then stop reading when you see the two lines.
Below that will be me (ironically) asking for support.
“GRIFTER”
I woke up this morning to a post where someone is exposing a woman who speaks up against Israel and Zionism.
Her crime?
Not giving her money to people in Gaza.
My heart sank.
Yet another witch hunt.
Sigh.
Here is a young woman who creatively uses her platform to make the general public curious about what’s happening in Palestine.
I don’t personally know her.
I don’t see all her posts.
But I appreciate her playful & quirky approach.
But apparently she’s not using her “fame” the right way and she’s being labelled a “grifter”.
The reason my heart sank is because I’m very aware of these “well-meaning” witch hunts. I’ve been the “witch” plenty of times.
And yes, I can totally understand how the attack seems justifiable.
Everyone who has asked me for financial support over the years, both in my work in Cambodia, as well as my current focus with Palestine, and have been unsuccessful in having me give money to their cause, would feel very upset with me.
Especially when they see me being praised for my “generosity and kindness”.
They would rightly feel furious.
Here’s the thing, I literally get hundreds of requests every week.
It’s not just that I don’t have the money to give to more people, I don’t have the time to respond or the time to check if they’re legit.
It’s literally impossible.
All the people I’ve ignored over the years would say that I don’t care about them. And if they looked at my social media platforms there is zero proof that any of my money goes to help the people I say I’m helping.
The young woman who is being cancelled is being called out for selling merchandise that only she profits from.
Of course that’s an assumption but with witch hunts it’s about feelings, not facts.
I remember when I first moved to Cambodia and I was HORRIFIED that anyone could make a profit from handicrafts made by Cambodians. I was definitely judging them. Not long after I found myself (unexpectedly) with a house full of Cambodian women sewing and embroidering. I was determined that any profit we made would go back into local needs.
I was sooooo painfully clueless!
There were endless hidden costs that I never thought to factor in and the very spontaneous project started eating into the little savings we had.
At the time I was married and my husband had the ability to fly back to Australia to earn more money but still, the toll was huge.
When we moved back to Australia after two and a half years and my marriage ended, I realised that the only way I could keep supporting the women in Cambodia was if I made a profit from what I sold. It was either that...or I had to stop supporting the women. Without a husband earning an income, the money had to come from somewhere! Plus I had four young kids so it wasn’t as if I had any spare time to squeeze in both paid work and running a small business.
I felt so bad!
All the stuff I used to judge others for...was now true for myself.
It literally took me years to fully accept that this is just how things are. It costs money to support others. Often because of hidden costs that can take months to realise.
And of course the few times I flew back to Cambodia I was seen as the “rich white woman”. The people would have no idea how much I struggled to pay rent each month or how often I had to rely on foodbanks to feed my kids.
We so easily make assumptions without knowing the full picture.
And yes, there are those who are able to contribute their time without any detrimental impact because they either have a job that allows for it, or a spouse that is the financial buffer or at a stage in life with more flexibility. Point is, that is a privilege.
I have tread as carefully as I can to make sure that I don’t profit financially in any way when it comes to how I support the Palestinian cause. It’s easier said than done, but I really have used my integrity as much as possible.
The first example that comes to mind is when I was asked to fly to Canberra to speak at the two year anniversary rally of the genocide. The guy who asked me to come said that in order to help cover the costs, he would set up an event the day before where I could speak about my life and sell my memoirs. He was really taken aback when I refused. I told him that there is no way that I feel comfortable doing any “self promotion”. He tried to insist that the money would have to come from somewhere and it might as well come from my books. Again I said no.
The other example that comes to mind is the banners that I hang over the road. I get told that I should have my social media handles on them so people can know how to find me online. And again I explain that I’m not wanting to do any self promotion when I’m speaking up for Palestine. Even if in this case, there’s no money involved.
The only place I have allowed myself to “monetise” is here on Substack. And that was super uncomfortable. My way around the discomfort is to make sure that I never restrict access to any of my writing.
All this to say.. there is a lot of “purity” talk about the right way to speak up for Palestine and anyone not doing it our way, is doing it wrong. I have my “set of rules” that I apply so I’m not trying to say that I don’t judge people…I do. (And maybe that’s a whole other article)
But what I’m trying to convey is that it’s very easy to connect dots that aren’t necessarily based on the full picture and there are sooooo many people who remain quiet about Palestine because they have seen the public shaming and they don’t want to risk being exposed for doing something wrong as they fumble their way into “activism”.
I really believe that we need to create a gentler landscape and if we have concerns…message people in private and giving them a chance to respond instead of a public witch hunt that to me only hurts the movement.
Okay…now my bizarrely time request for support:
I’m in a bit of a perfect storm.
A combination of having been unwell recently which has meant missing shifts (including two shifts this weekend). Plus a client of mine being away this weekend so missing four weekend shifts in total.
Then I’m going to go away in a while (I’m purposely being vague but will post about it when I can be more public) for activism stuff. These trips always cost me more than I anticipate. Obviously it’s the missed shifts. But it’s also the travel expenses and life is just more expensive on the road. Plus any supplied I need which all add up on a tight budget.
As most of you know, my small business that supports marginalised women in Cambodia is pretty much at a standstill because I use my social media platform for the genocide.
Which means that I have soooooo many ethical and handmade treasures just taking up a lot of space that I would love to find forever homes for. It makes me much more comfortable asking for financial support if the person giving receives something in return.
At the moment, along with my regular treasures…I also have a big box that arrived from a shop that was closing down. I haven’t looked through it, but they used to sell my Pocket Bags, Monk Bags, Beach Cocoons etc etc. So there are A LOT of beautiful things. When something has been at a shop I prefer to sell it at a discount because it doesn’t have that perfectly folded vibe I love when it comes straight from Cambodia.
So my offer is this:
If you want to receive something from the “mystery box” I will add another gift for free as an incentive. So for example, if you give $100 I will send you something that will at least be worth $100 and include another mystery gift as well. I promise you will love it!
(Oh, and please let me know if you want the gift to be more adult or child focused)
I have done mystery boxes before and have only had positive feedback.
If you don’t like surprises then ordering something from my website leading up to Christmas would be super helpful.
And if you spend more than $150 I will add a magnetic Santa Monkey (that I love to refer to as a “Less Creepy Elf On A Shelf” or an “Ape On A Crepe”:
Lots of happily made gifts here!
Now…I should probably add that this offer is just for those of you in Australia because the shipping costs are insane right now. I do have light weight options though so maybe best to message me directly to see what a good overseas option is.
I normally charge $15 for postage but need to update it for anything heavier than a small package.
Please contact me here:
veronicahappilymade@gmail.com (that’s not a link)
And since I’m already feeling awkward I might as well add some photos of the treasure cave that I sleep in to show you my bizarre life.
Alright…I hope this lands okay with you. Asking for help never really sits right with me but then people tell me that I should. So here I am. Oh, and AS ALWAYS…this is only for those of you with a financial buffer WHO ALREADY SUPPORT PALESTINE. Please help me in NON FINANCIAL ways if things are financially tight.
Much love,
Veronica
(If you are looking for a way to give to Gaza and you live in Australia. Please use this PayID:
starfishkeeper@hotmail.com
100% of your money will go to verified families in Gaza for food, water, winter clothes etc etc)
If you prefer a link or live outside Australia: